Ocala Speedway
Bronson's coping mechanism catches ear of race fans
By Kyle McFadden
DirtonDirt staff reporter
Kyle Bronson (heathlawsonphotos.com)
OCALA, Fla. (Feb. 26) — Kyle Bronson has become something of a walking quote machine in recent years, keeping onlookers tuned into any interview so they don’t miss his latest witty remarks or down-home maxims.
Wednesday’s latest Bronsonism came after a rear-end failure while leading at Ocala Speedway — “It could be raining vaginas and I’d get smacked in the head by a wiener,” he told FloRacing pit reporter Ben Shelton — just another one-liner from the Brandon, Fla., driver-turned-comedian delivered in the heat of the moment. Among Bronson’s most memorable phrases:
“When you’re playing in the cow pasture, you’re liable to step in s---.”
“I’ll slap ’em in the mouth and go eat me a bologna sandwich tomorrow.”
“When you run with the squirrels, you’re liable to get your nuts cracked.”
“Life’s simple: You f--- with the bull, you get the horn.”
Those are only a handful from the ever-growing list of Bronson’s colorful sayings in recent memory. The kicker? Bronson doesn’t appear to be trying to act funny or manufacture the next famous line. In fact, he says he doesn’t even have a favorite saying.
“I'm just some dumb hillbilly redneck, you know? I say a lot of dumb s--- that people probably like or don't like or whatever,” Bronson said. “So I just do the best I can whenever I can. I don't really have a favorite saying, nothing.”
And as Bronson explains it, those off-the-cuff would-be proverbs aren’t something he formulates beforehand. They come in the spur of the moment, often as a coping mechanism when he’s trying to articulate frustrating moments without having to, well, drop a few F-bombs.
“You don't want to say the F-bomb too much either because that's what I was thinking in my head,” Bronson said. “You just try to do everything you can to keep your mojo up, keep yourself up, you know? Because you can get down really easy. You want to say a lot of bad words, so you just kind of say the best you can to move on and smile a little bit.”
Bronson even has a one-liner for why he might have so many one-liners.
“I guess we can take the guy out the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the guy,” Bronson said. “The biggest deal is you want to win these races — you don't even want to be in those situations.”
But make no mistake, Bronson would much rather be known as one of the select drivers who’s won a Georgia-Florida Speedweeks event so far this year than for his “flying wieners” quote.
“I'd much rather have the attention holding a damn trophy, you know?” Bronson said. “We gotta get this thing going better where we can park it in victory lane here.”
Not even 24 hours after Bronson’s viral “flying wieners” quote at Ocala, his merch team at Race Ranch already had a T-shirt designed around the now-famous one-liner. Race Ranch owner Matt James wanted to deliver what’s bound to be a best-selling item while helping Bronson make the most out of the situation.
“Obviously he had the car to win (Wednesday) night and it breaks your heart when you see him pull to the infield. I think the big thing is you can watch that interview and he's obviously disgusted because he had an amazing shot to win, right?” James said. “He just opens his mouth, you know, says what he says and kind of makes a joke about it.
“He could have been rude and hateful, and everybody, I think, would have understood. But instead he just kind of makes a joke about it. So first thing that night, as soon as it happened, we got ahold of one of our artists like, ‘Hey, how fast can you make this into a shirt? Here’s the ideas I have.’ ”
James messaged his T-shirt designer around 9:30 p.m. Wednesday. By 11 a.m. Thursday, the completed “flying wieners” T-shirt was ready to market, with plans for it to be available trackside by next Thursday’s Lucas Oil event at Golden Isles Speedway near Brunswick, Ga. James added that online orders would begin Friday, March 6.
“It has been pretty, pretty wild today. Ever since we released it, the website's been popping for sure,” James said of Bronson’s latest “flying wieners” T-shirt. “It'll be a nice little deal for Kyle to be able to recoup a little bit of the money — not the $7,000 from Wednesday night — but hopefully make a little lemonade out of lemons.”
James’s Race Ranch crew services many of the sport’s frontrunners — Tyler Bruening, Tyler Erb, Chris Madden, Brian Shirley, Dustin Sorensen, Cody Overton and Daulton Wilson — and has noticed Bronson’s popularity surge in recent seasons. But working with Bronson on merchandise has also allowed James to see another side of the Brandon, Fla., driver beyond his quick wit and colorful sayings.
“The funny thing is, until we started doing his merch, I really didn’t know him that well,” James said. “He was always nice in passing and talking. But once you start working with him, you realize he’s probably one of the most genuinely nicest guys in the pits who will do anything for anybody.
“Any time he sees us broke down or anything like that, he's always one of the first ones to say, ‘Hey, man, is there anything I can do to help?’ We recently opened a wedding venue and Kyle has always been like, ‘Hey, man, that’s awesome. Congratulations.’ He’s always been that guy who likes to see others succeed.”
Two of James’s most popular shirts revolve around Bronson — a “farm chores” design inspired by Bronson’s wife, Amber, and another that pastes Bronson’s face onto Stone Cold Steve Austin’s body with fists raised in celebration. The Stone Cold Steve Austin design traces back to last December’s Gateway Dirt Nationals, when Bronson challenged Brenden Smith to a tussle inside The Dome at America’s Center in St. Louis after contact from Smith in a qualifier knocked Bronson out of preliminary action.
“Altogether they literally could have a reality show, you know,” James said of the Bronsons. “It would be awesome to watch.”
Bronson, needless to say, is appreciative of the support he receives — from James at Race Ranch to his supporters alike. “I appreciate everything them guys do for us and give the fans what they want,” he said. Still, he’d prefer a greater share of his earnings from race winnings rather than T-shirt sales.
He’s back on the road this season following the Lucas Oil tour after abandoning his World of Outlaws Late Model Series campaign after last April’s Alabama Gang 100 weekend at Talladega Short Track in Eastaboga, Ala., convinced he’s better equipped for the grind ahead after regrouping on a independent schedule. Ocala has helped him start to pick up a little momentum, showing winning-caliber speed Wednesday before his rear-end failure and then leading the first 13 of 40 laps Thursday before fading to finish third.
“We didn't want to get off the road last year, but then we broke all the motors in Speedweeks and that kind of put us in a major bind,” Bronson said. “It’s hard to go on the road being that far behind. Like I said, this is a brand new car. Mark Richards at Rocket Chassis and everyone there help us out a lot. I feel like we're taking longer than I'd like to get rolling here, but at least I can say we're finally starting to head in the right direction.”
And, of course, Bronson wouldn’t be Bronson without another one-liner to keep things in perspective.
“Brad Keselowski said one time: ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going,’ ” Bronson said. “So we’re just going to keep our heads down and keep on digging along.”
